FAQ Part 1

*This post is the first in a series of posts answering some of your questions about my future.*

Readers: Which law school are you going to?

I haven't picked one yet. When I know, you'll all know. Because I've never applied to law school before this, I may have applied to slightly too many law schools. My decision has subsequently become ever more complicated.

I will have a definitive decision by May 1st. Until then, the answer is that I simply don't know.

Readers: When are you leaving your job?

Tomorrow is my last day.

Readers: Holy cow! That's so soon! What are you going to be doing in the meantime?

For the next six weeks, I'll be doing lots of traveling off and on to evaluate some schools. After that, I'll be spending time with family, relaxing, partying, and living it up in my last few months of freedom.

Stay tuned for more Q & A when I get some time.

Beggars Can't Be Choosers

Some of my loyal blog readers (read: LL) have complained that it has been three days since my law school announcement with no follow-up information or other amusing anecdotes.

I'm actually on vacation right now and totally reserve the right to not discuss the law school thing today, but I will give a picture and quick rundown of my day.

Car rides: 2

Train rides: 7

Ferry rides: 2

Blueberry croissants: 1 (sooooo worth every calorie)

Street vendors: 483,209

Guys dressed like the Statue of Liberty: 4-8

Ridiculously and hilariously inappropriate street vendors: 1

People dressed like they should be visiting California: 47

Cheesecakes: 1 (one slice--I'm not just eating whatever I want...sort of...)

On tomorrow's agenda? More crazy touristy stuff, family get-together, and bagels. Vacation is the best. Maybe I should skip the whole law school thing and just be a perpetual vacationer. That's a job, right?

FYI

I need to give you all some information, and this blog seems to be the easiest way to make it known. This won't be funny, entertaining, or even super informational, frankly. However, more details will be posted in the coming weeks.

Last Friday, I gave notice to my employer that I will be leaving in just a few short weeks. I'll be taking the next few months to do some traveling, spending time with family, volunteering, and getting in some great rest, relaxation, and mental preparation.

I'll be starting law school in the fall.

Vacation

Somebody's Mother and I went on a quick girls' weekend. It was WONDERFUL and relaxing and just fabulous. And look how gorgeous!

Jealous?

Primary Tidbit

Funny conversation from primary today, as I sat and watched the other teacher for my class from the back:

Teacher: Ok, so what happens after resurrection?

Student 1: (enthusiastically) FINAL JUDGEMENT!

(They all love that one for some reason...)

Teacher: That's right! And then where do we go?

Student 2: Well, there's the one that's like something, and then the moon and the stars.

Teacher: Exactly--the kingdoms like the sun, moon, and stars. What are they called?

Student 3: Celestial, terrestrial...

Teacher: Well, there's telestial next, and then...

Student 3: Um, choles...cholesterol...

Pretty sure we all know where I'm going...

Old Age

Today, in the primary class I was teaching, I used the word "dude" once to get the attention of one of the kids.

Another student replied "Old people can't say dude!"

I told her that I had been saying "dude" since long before she was born. She repeated her sentiment, saying that I just couldn't say that.

My reply: "Watch me."

Everything You Ever Wanted

I'm having such a Dr. Horrible-esque evening.

Sometimes, when you get the things you thought you wanted, you find out that there are a lot of strings attached.

Sigh.

Anybody have some scissors?

Relationship Trouble

I'm having a serious problem in my most important relationship. Those who know me well know that I'm not really one to talk about my private life, but this is just something that I need to share with someone.

Like most relationship problems, it really all boils down to communication issues. I suppose that most people have trouble really communicating what is going on and when they really need something, and I suppose that things are no different for us.

It's easy to let things fester, to leave unsaid the tiny things that are troubling you, and ignore the underlying problem.

I wish that things were different. I wish that the problem wasn't so frustrating and seemingly unsolvable. If only my side could be seen...

I mean, really, how hard is it for my MacBook to tell me when it has a low battery? Just a small pop up, a tiny warning that it's about to shut itself down? It used to warn me, and now, out of nowhere, it just stopped doing it! Come on, MacBook--communicate. Tell me when things aren't okay, and I'll try to fix them. You just shut down without warning when I'm trying to do things. This is seriously the only problem we've ever had! I love everything about my MacBook--why all this trouble now? Two and a half years into our relationship, and this is what I get?

Better keep an eye on that battery meter...you never know when I'll have to run and find a power source...

(Ten bonus points to everyone who KNEW that this post was going to be about a piece of electronic equipment right from the beginning.)

Things Not to Do

Here are some things I should not do in public:

• Eat
• Walk
• Talk
• Text

Aren't you jealous that you didn't get to see all of the reasons why this is the case? Too bad for you--I save my best awkward moments for total strangers and coworkers...

Brain Dump

Once again, boys and girls, it's time for a brain dump.

• I heard an interesting story about how, if one is tricked into thinking time passed more quickly than they actually thought it had, they feel like they had more fun. Commence speeding up your clocks...now!
• Smells like something is cooking in my apartment. Nothing is cooking in my apartment. Nothing has cooked in my apartment for a couple of days--I've been eating my lazy food since I've been feeling a touch under the weather. Bad sign?
• I have a trash can right next to my couch where I sit to watch TV. This trash can is very convenient for throwing away all sorts of things, and particularly convenient for knocking things off of my arm rest and right into the can. Smooth, I know... Happens at least once a day. You might think that I should move the trash can, but that, dear friends, would be inconvenient in a whole new way.
• People have told me several times lately that I wouldn't like to travel somewhere or participate in some activity. Here's the bottom line, people: you don't actually know what I want to do. YOU might not enjoy it, but I might, so unless the activity is celery-related, go ahead and don't try to make up my mind for me.
• I like Christmas, but I don't love cleaning up after it. After cleaning up the decorations at work, I've lost all motivation to clean them up at home. Sigh. I simply must take down my tree this weekend--it's just irresponsible to leave it up much longer, especially since it is having a severe structural integrity issue.
• Through the magic of pre-portioned detergent, I can say with confidence that I have run the dishwasher exactly 17 times since moving into this apartment...seven months ago.
• I've been seriously pondering over the last couple of weeks if I might be poisoned in some way. Just a thought. Radon? Toxic spills? Asbestos? Celery salt?
• My professionalism at work has taken a big hit due to the most recent storm. I've taken to wearing my snow boots to work. Oh well...at least I'm not going in my sweats. Yet.
• Bought some new shoes the other day when out shopping with Somebody's Mother. I always find something cute when I'm out shopping with her.
• I received several very thoughtful gifts for Christmas. Apparently, gift-giving is no longer contingent upon good behavior.
• The new year is just around the corner. Here's to a year full of excitement and adventure for all!

Love, Love, Love

Today is my parents' 35th wedding anniversary. They've been married longer than I've even been alive! (Thought this today, and then giggled for about 10 minutes about having that random thought...)

Each night, I write down three things that I am thinking of that day that I am grateful for. (Side note: you should all try it. It's good for you. And the universe. Good for you, the universe, and your journal/computer--makes it feel needed. Just good all around.)

Tonight, I was thinking about how grateful I am for two parents who love each other, love me, and are committed to working hard through whatever comes up. The trials that our family has endured have certainly not been a walk in the park, but their love for each other and us has inspired them to work, facing the same future together, hand-in-hand, headed into whatever comes next. I sure love them.

Yesterday at church, my parents had a funny, quiet little moment with each other, and I made some comment about keeping those things at home, away from the public.

I've changed my mind though.

I have two fabulous parents who each love me and support my goals, dreams, and ambitions. They pick me up when I fall, listen to me cry, and then help me learn how to pick myself up in the future. I love them.

In addition to all of this, they are madly, passionately in love with each other. Not only do they have a deep, mature love and respect, but they are also just crazy about each other. Sometimes, it's like being with a couple of twitterpated teenagers. They are silly, smoochy, snuggly, and occasionally embarrassing, and I don't care if the whole world knows it. They are so in love. It's inspiring and encouraging.

So, love to my mom and dad, and here's to the next 35 years.

Meanest Coworker Ever

I love Christmas. I love traditions, I love celebrations, fireplaces, spending time with family, and I love Christmas foods.

One of the great things about having people marry into my family is that I get to add all kinds of wonderful traditions to my own. My brother's wonderful wife makes the most fabulous sugar cookies. I look forward to them all year. She has the best recipe, and I'm a total sugar-cookie nut as it is, so it's a wonderful treat.

Today, I was working at a different office training some employees. My aforementioned sister-in-law dropped off a plate of sugar cookies for me. Each year, she makes me my own plate of cookies because she knows how much I love them. I told you--she's wonderful.

I've been looking forward to these cookies for at least a week, since my sister-in-law advised me she'd be dropping them by. When she and my adorable nephews brought them in for me, I thanked them profusely, and then stuffed the cookies under my jacket on the counter in the back.

I spent the rest of the afternoon listening to the employees at that office whine about how I was not sharing cookies with them. I certainly would not share with them. Holiday cookies come in limited quantity, only once a year, and sharing homemade cookies with them would be like pearls before swine--they'll eat ANYTHING. It's not that I was eating in front of them--I had removed the cookies from sight, and I made no further mention of them. Later in the afternoon, my coworkers brought our department's Christmas present to this office over to them. Our present? Candy! They got candy, yet they continued to whine about the cookies.

At the end of the day, I collected my coat and my plate of cookies and left. There was a bit more whining and grabbing for cookies, but I would not relent. I think that they probably were bothering me about it more because they thought it was funny and less because they actually wanted cookies, but whatever.

Of course, the employees clearly forgot that the last time I was there, I brought them all cookies that I had purchased especially for them!

Whatever. I'm the meanest coworker ever. Cry about it all you want. I don't even feel bad--I'm here with a plate of cookies!!

Crafty Crafterson

I made a craft for the holiday season. I thought I'd include the instructions along with a picture of my finished craft so that you can all make it as well.

• Step 1: See a cute idea on the internet.
• Step 2: Let coworkers deceive you into believing that you're capable of creating it.
• Step 3: Wait a week.
• Step 4: Show cute idea to your mother. Purchase tulle with her guidance.
• Step 5: Have your mother cut out the tulle into pieces so they turn out correctly.
• Step 6: Leave your mother's house with specific instructions to finish by the end of the night.
• Step 7: Wait three weeks.
• Step 8: Get your craft back out. Re-evaluate your decision to be crafty several times.
• Step 9: Get back to work. Tie loops of the %@# tulle around over and over and over and over.
• Step 10: Run out of pieces after two hours of work.
• Step 11: Cut more pieces.
• Step 12: Finish the wreath while watching cheesy made-for-TV holiday movies.
• Step 13: Smash enormous wreath with a broken TiVo so as to reduce its ridiculous fluffiness.
• Step 14: Wait an hour while continuing to watch cheesy made-for-TV holiday movies.
• Step 15: Hang wreath on inside of door because it is too cold and too late at night to open door.
• Step 16: Take a picture of wreath, just in case it gets stolen when you finally get around to putting it outside.

So, folks, there you have it. A step-by-step tutorial for how to make a Christmas wreath. (Note: some non-essential steps may have been excluded. I'm sure you'll figure them out.)

Finished product:

Funny Comic

My dad sent this to my siblings and me. It cracked me right up, so I thought I'd share it with you.

I've Said It Before, and I'll Say It Again

May the light always find you on a dreary day;

When you need to be home, may you find a way.

May you always have courage to take a chance,

And never find frogs in your underpants.

–Unknown Scandinavian

Thanksgiving

To speak gratitude is courteous and pleasant, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live gratitude is to touch Heaven.

-Johannes A. Gaertner

Dear Self

Dear Liz:

When you're talking to someone on the phone, and strange/disturbing questions you could ask that person pop into your head, I have a bit of advice for you:

Don't. Just don't. Just say goodnight and then hang up the phone, hoser.

Love,

You, Ten Minutes Later

Tidbits

This week, I was training some excellent employees for work, while working on other projects in the evenings. It was a good week.

Here are some tidbits from my week, no particular order, no particular significance:

• Tellering is an awfully snuggly activity. It's nice to be alone with plenty of space in my apartment this evening.
• I'm 5'2''. I stepped on a teller today. How on earth does that happen?
• My sister-in-law gave me a new picture of my newest nephew, which I promptly hung in my cubicle at work. He's so adorable, it's distracting!
• One of my coworkers is going to be out of the office next week, so when I saw her for the last time this week on Thursday, I told her I'd see her next in December. How is it already almost December?
• Random person in the parking lot of the grocery store asked me for money last night. I had $0.75. Sorry, random person. Hope you found more money from other people!
• One of my tellers this week has an aunt who owns one of my favorite restaurants here in town, and I've been craving it ever since we talked about it! Mmmm... La Carreta!!
• On Thanksgiving, I basically want to eat mashed potatoes, rolls, and pie. Lots of pie. Bad sign?
• One of my good friends recently told me that if she gets a vote in a matter, she gets four, because she eats for four people. The eating for four people description is completely accurate. She'll be in town soon, and I suspect we'll be doing a serious amount of eating.
• I changed my thermostat to warm the apartment slightly before time to get up so that it would be easier to get out of bed. The opposite has been achieved--I'm so warm and snuggly first thing in the morning that I have no desire to get up.
• One of my tellers was speaking in Spanish to a customer today. I put my hand on his shoulder to get his attention, and quietly spoke half a sentence to remind him of something that I needed him to do in the transaction. He looked up at me, completely puzzled. The half-sentence I spoke had words in it that could be mistaken for Spanish, and he had no idea what I had just said. We laughed about it all day--we know my Spanish is not that good!
• The cooler your job is, the fewer days you'll have to work next week. Take a moment now to assess your relative awesomeness. Mine's fairly high.

Headed into what is sure to be a fabulous weekend--hope the same for all of you!

Jealous?

I often draw on the board as I train to illustrate what I'm discussing and to help solidify the information. I am, of course, a terrible artist, and these drawings are often quite comical.

Yesterday, the employees I was training got to see some pretty fancy artwork.

Some samples (phone photos, so they don't really do it justice; also, try to not be too jealous that you didn't get to be part of this clearly fabulous class):

Spaghetti Dinner

I still don't have anything to say, but fortunately, I still have really cute nephews.

For your viewing enjoyment, I present the following: