Crafty Crafterson

I made a craft for the holiday season. I thought I'd include the instructions along with a picture of my finished craft so that you can all make it as well.

• Step 1: See a cute idea on the internet.
• Step 2: Let coworkers deceive you into believing that you're capable of creating it.
• Step 3: Wait a week.
• Step 4: Show cute idea to your mother. Purchase tulle with her guidance.
• Step 5: Have your mother cut out the tulle into pieces so they turn out correctly.
• Step 6: Leave your mother's house with specific instructions to finish by the end of the night.
• Step 7: Wait three weeks.
• Step 8: Get your craft back out. Re-evaluate your decision to be crafty several times.
• Step 9: Get back to work. Tie loops of the %@# tulle around over and over and over and over.
• Step 10: Run out of pieces after two hours of work.
• Step 11: Cut more pieces.
• Step 12: Finish the wreath while watching cheesy made-for-TV holiday movies.
• Step 13: Smash enormous wreath with a broken TiVo so as to reduce its ridiculous fluffiness.
• Step 14: Wait an hour while continuing to watch cheesy made-for-TV holiday movies.
• Step 15: Hang wreath on inside of door because it is too cold and too late at night to open door.
• Step 16: Take a picture of wreath, just in case it gets stolen when you finally get around to putting it outside.

So, folks, there you have it. A step-by-step tutorial for how to make a Christmas wreath. (Note: some non-essential steps may have been excluded. I'm sure you'll figure them out.)

Finished product: