Brain Dump

Once again, boys and girls, it's time for a brain dump.

• I heard an interesting story about how, if one is tricked into thinking time passed more quickly than they actually thought it had, they feel like they had more fun. Commence speeding up your clocks...now!
• Smells like something is cooking in my apartment. Nothing is cooking in my apartment. Nothing has cooked in my apartment for a couple of days--I've been eating my lazy food since I've been feeling a touch under the weather. Bad sign?
• I have a trash can right next to my couch where I sit to watch TV. This trash can is very convenient for throwing away all sorts of things, and particularly convenient for knocking things off of my arm rest and right into the can. Smooth, I know... Happens at least once a day. You might think that I should move the trash can, but that, dear friends, would be inconvenient in a whole new way.
• People have told me several times lately that I wouldn't like to travel somewhere or participate in some activity. Here's the bottom line, people: you don't actually know what I want to do. YOU might not enjoy it, but I might, so unless the activity is celery-related, go ahead and don't try to make up my mind for me.
• I like Christmas, but I don't love cleaning up after it. After cleaning up the decorations at work, I've lost all motivation to clean them up at home. Sigh. I simply must take down my tree this weekend--it's just irresponsible to leave it up much longer, especially since it is having a severe structural integrity issue.
• Through the magic of pre-portioned detergent, I can say with confidence that I have run the dishwasher exactly 17 times since moving into this apartment...seven months ago.
• I've been seriously pondering over the last couple of weeks if I might be poisoned in some way. Just a thought. Radon? Toxic spills? Asbestos? Celery salt?
• My professionalism at work has taken a big hit due to the most recent storm. I've taken to wearing my snow boots to work. Oh well...at least I'm not going in my sweats. Yet.
• Bought some new shoes the other day when out shopping with Somebody's Mother. I always find something cute when I'm out shopping with her.
• I received several very thoughtful gifts for Christmas. Apparently, gift-giving is no longer contingent upon good behavior.
• The new year is just around the corner. Here's to a year full of excitement and adventure for all!

Love, Love, Love

Today is my parents' 35th wedding anniversary. They've been married longer than I've even been alive! (Thought this today, and then giggled for about 10 minutes about having that random thought...)

Each night, I write down three things that I am thinking of that day that I am grateful for. (Side note: you should all try it. It's good for you. And the universe. Good for you, the universe, and your journal/computer--makes it feel needed. Just good all around.)

Tonight, I was thinking about how grateful I am for two parents who love each other, love me, and are committed to working hard through whatever comes up. The trials that our family has endured have certainly not been a walk in the park, but their love for each other and us has inspired them to work, facing the same future together, hand-in-hand, headed into whatever comes next. I sure love them.

Yesterday at church, my parents had a funny, quiet little moment with each other, and I made some comment about keeping those things at home, away from the public.

I've changed my mind though.

I have two fabulous parents who each love me and support my goals, dreams, and ambitions. They pick me up when I fall, listen to me cry, and then help me learn how to pick myself up in the future. I love them.

In addition to all of this, they are madly, passionately in love with each other. Not only do they have a deep, mature love and respect, but they are also just crazy about each other. Sometimes, it's like being with a couple of twitterpated teenagers. They are silly, smoochy, snuggly, and occasionally embarrassing, and I don't care if the whole world knows it. They are so in love. It's inspiring and encouraging.

So, love to my mom and dad, and here's to the next 35 years.

Meanest Coworker Ever

I love Christmas. I love traditions, I love celebrations, fireplaces, spending time with family, and I love Christmas foods.

One of the great things about having people marry into my family is that I get to add all kinds of wonderful traditions to my own. My brother's wonderful wife makes the most fabulous sugar cookies. I look forward to them all year. She has the best recipe, and I'm a total sugar-cookie nut as it is, so it's a wonderful treat.

Today, I was working at a different office training some employees. My aforementioned sister-in-law dropped off a plate of sugar cookies for me. Each year, she makes me my own plate of cookies because she knows how much I love them. I told you--she's wonderful.

I've been looking forward to these cookies for at least a week, since my sister-in-law advised me she'd be dropping them by. When she and my adorable nephews brought them in for me, I thanked them profusely, and then stuffed the cookies under my jacket on the counter in the back.

I spent the rest of the afternoon listening to the employees at that office whine about how I was not sharing cookies with them. I certainly would not share with them. Holiday cookies come in limited quantity, only once a year, and sharing homemade cookies with them would be like pearls before swine--they'll eat ANYTHING. It's not that I was eating in front of them--I had removed the cookies from sight, and I made no further mention of them. Later in the afternoon, my coworkers brought our department's Christmas present to this office over to them. Our present? Candy! They got candy, yet they continued to whine about the cookies.

At the end of the day, I collected my coat and my plate of cookies and left. There was a bit more whining and grabbing for cookies, but I would not relent. I think that they probably were bothering me about it more because they thought it was funny and less because they actually wanted cookies, but whatever.

Of course, the employees clearly forgot that the last time I was there, I brought them all cookies that I had purchased especially for them!

Whatever. I'm the meanest coworker ever. Cry about it all you want. I don't even feel bad--I'm here with a plate of cookies!!

Crafty Crafterson

I made a craft for the holiday season. I thought I'd include the instructions along with a picture of my finished craft so that you can all make it as well.

• Step 1: See a cute idea on the internet.
• Step 2: Let coworkers deceive you into believing that you're capable of creating it.
• Step 3: Wait a week.
• Step 4: Show cute idea to your mother. Purchase tulle with her guidance.
• Step 5: Have your mother cut out the tulle into pieces so they turn out correctly.
• Step 6: Leave your mother's house with specific instructions to finish by the end of the night.
• Step 7: Wait three weeks.
• Step 8: Get your craft back out. Re-evaluate your decision to be crafty several times.
• Step 9: Get back to work. Tie loops of the %@# tulle around over and over and over and over.
• Step 10: Run out of pieces after two hours of work.
• Step 11: Cut more pieces.
• Step 12: Finish the wreath while watching cheesy made-for-TV holiday movies.
• Step 13: Smash enormous wreath with a broken TiVo so as to reduce its ridiculous fluffiness.
• Step 14: Wait an hour while continuing to watch cheesy made-for-TV holiday movies.
• Step 15: Hang wreath on inside of door because it is too cold and too late at night to open door.
• Step 16: Take a picture of wreath, just in case it gets stolen when you finally get around to putting it outside.

So, folks, there you have it. A step-by-step tutorial for how to make a Christmas wreath. (Note: some non-essential steps may have been excluded. I'm sure you'll figure them out.)

Finished product:

Funny Comic

My dad sent this to my siblings and me. It cracked me right up, so I thought I'd share it with you.

I've Said It Before, and I'll Say It Again

May the light always find you on a dreary day;

When you need to be home, may you find a way.

May you always have courage to take a chance,

And never find frogs in your underpants.

–Unknown Scandinavian