Dear World

Dear Future Husband:

Howdy. Just wanted to touch base and update you on an important issue.

Since I've moved into my new apartment, I've been sleeping in a full size bed. This has been FANTASTIC, and I've adapted very well.

Sadly, this means that there is no bed in existance that is large enough for me to share with another person, since a king size bed is just the size of two twins.

Anyway, we can share the same room, but apparently, I'm going to need my own bed. I'm sure it'll be fine.

Thanks!

Liz

I'm okay, you're okay...

We're all okay.

Sometimes, people ask you how you are, and you tell them that you are okay, and they insist that you aren't.

I'm okay.

Don't let the neck brace fool you.

I'm Lame

I know I'm lame. Please stop harassing me and telling me I'm lame.

I'm 23 years old--it's not a requirement for me to be dressed up for Halloween. I recognize that my lack of desire to participate and be "fun" makes me lame, and I'm okay with that.

Stop telling me.

Thanks.

Drifting

Last night as I was drifting off to sleep, I had a phrase pop into my head:

"Wax paper tastes like yellow January."

I'm not sure what this means or why I thought of it as I was falling asleep, but there you go. It stopped my drift because it was so funny I started to laugh, and then I had to relax and work on falling asleep all over again.

Of course, I have no idea what wax paper tastes like (although I'd venture to say it is waxy tasting or paper-like) and I have no idea what yellow January even is, but...

Lowering the Bar

Tonight, after I got out of the shower, I realized that I had some groceries out in my car I hadn't brought in yet. I didn't feel like getting more dressed than the pajamas I was already wearing, so I walked out to the car in my pajamas with wet weird hair and in pajamas. I got my stuff out of my car, and then walked back to my apartment.

Amazingly enough, I didn't run into anyone while I was out there. I recognized that there was the possibility that I could run into someone, but I just didn't care.

Clearly, I am stepping up my game...

Nap

I have decided that I should get a nap every day. I think I'll be more productive, happier, and more pleasant to work with.

I'm just saying...

You're Welcome

Our network at work is very slow. IT has finally agreed to put a server out at our building to improve our speed. Before they can do that, they need us to clean up our stuff off the old server. Our personal files are stored on it, and all of our department's stuff is out on it. In reality, they need EVERYONE who stores stuff on that server (which is everyone) to clean stuff off of it--our stuff is a small portion. But if this is what it takes to get our speed issues resolved, we'll do it.

Today, I cleaned 1.1 gig off of the server. You're welcome, tech guys. Now all you need to do is talk to whoever is using the other 480 gig.

Wait a minute!

Yesterday, I celebrated (uh, not so much with the celebration, just more of an acknowledgement) my 5 year anniversary of working for my employer.

At some point when I wasn't looking, this became my career...who knew? I'm growing up!

But of course!

I was teaching a class about the basics of finance today at a treatment center for teenagers. The company describes the center as "high-end" (read: costs $10,000 a month to keep your child there).

I was talking about working, saving up money, putting your money to work for you and earning interest, stuff like that. We had the following interesting question.

Girl: "But if you had like a million dollars, you wouldn't have to have a job, right? It just makes all the money for you."
Me: "Well, that's the right idea, but it actually takes a bit more than a million dollars. The hard part about that is getting the money in the first place, which is why we have to budget and save and work to get enough."
Girl: "But what if someone just gives you the money?"
Me: "Well, they'd have to give you a LOT of money, and it's pretty unlikely that anyone would be able to just give you that amount of money. You sure wouldn't want to plan on it."

Then I moved on and took more questions. Too funny. I'm pretty sure this girl is not planning on ever working in her life. Everything I said probably went in one ear and out the other for many of them...

But I did love her logic--of course! Just get someone to give you the money! That's what I've been doing wrong.

Some People...

Last night, there was a car parked in one of my parking spots again. Right now, it's just the two of us living in the apartment, so we didn't need the space, so I didn't call and have it towed. I could have, but I didn't.

However, I sort of wanted to. I am 95% sure it was the same truck I had to tow before.

Some people never learn.

Things Which Make No Sense

If you go to the store to buy yogurt, it's pretty simple. Want strawberry yogurt? Get the one with pictures of strawberries on it. Coconut cream pie yogurt? Look for a piece of pie on the label.

Last week, I bought plain yogurt. It has a cow on the label.

Uh...

Commute

I usually walk to work, so there is very little commute. However, on Tuesdays I go to the gym with my mom up in Orem, so then I have to drive back down to my office. I don't love driving, but it's not super far.

Today, the commute was totally exciting. For about half of my drive, I was driving next to a De Lorean! I don't think I've seen one in real life before, just in movies and on TV. I was completely fascinated by it, and at every stop light, I stared. The guy probably thought I was checking him out. He would be mistaken. It was the car.

Then, as we continued to drive, I saw someone get pulled over! I've never seen that either! I've seen people who have ALREADY been pulled over, who are on the side of the street, but never the whole thing. I'm sure it wasn't exciting for the guy who got pulled over, but he had it coming--he was speeding in a school zone, and then a police officer pulled out of a driveway right there--I didn't see the police car until it was on the move, so I'm sure he didn't either. Fortunately, I was obeying the law. Except I was a bit distracted by the De Lorean, so it was a bigger surprise than it would have been, I think.

Anyway, a very exciting start to my Tuesday. I have a good feeling about today now. I have to take some clothes to the dry cleaners after work--who knows what will happen then?!?!?

My Sister

Today is my sister's 30th birthday. It's essentially impossible to explain how wonderful she is, but I thought I'd make a list of 10 wonderful things about her/having her as a sister, in no particular order. This list should not be considered the top ten, merely 10 wonderful things I'm thinking today.

1. We have a psychic connection. We make the same noises at the same time, say the exact same things in unison, and once, I was sticking out my tongue at her son, and she told him to stick his tongue out at me. She could not see me at the time and had absolutely no idea I was already sticking out my tongue.

2. She is gorgeous no matter what she wears or does. She says that she doesn't get all dressed up and do her hair or anything anymore because of her kids, but whenever I see her, I can't help but think that she's beautiful.

3. She has excellent taste in books/movies/tv. Or we have the same taste. Whatever. I think it's excellent, so then we can discuss those things together.

4. She is incredibly compassionate. She can always tell when people are feeling down or in need, and she helps them to feel better, usually without them knowing it!

5. We can comment on each other's anatomy and not have it be weird. Who else but your sister can compliment your new cute physique after you lose some weight?

6. She is an amazing mother. Her boys are so smart, so engaged, and so sweet, and I attirbute that to her.

7. She is an excellent listener. She lets me talk and talk and talk at her on a weekly basis, and she listens patiently as I explain how lame things are over and over. She gently advises me on how to be better, but not in a naggy or pushy way.

8. She is the funniest person I know. It's probably because we have the same sense of humor, but she and I laugh SO much when we're together. I can't get enough of her. We just laugh and laugh when we're together, and since we know each other so well, there's no weirdness or self-consciousness.

9. She is amazingly smart. We can talk about tv, movies, or guys, but then in the same conversation, we can discuss politics, economics, and legal issues. She is way, way smarter than most people I know, but she doesn't make anyone else around her feel stupid, even though she's probably smarter than most people.

10. She never gives up. She hasn't slept for two and a half years, but she still wakes up each day and takes care of her family. She's freezing cold, but she still gets out of her house. She has been bruised, broken, nearly killed, but never let it stop her. She does what is necessary, no matter how difficult. She is committed to all the things she starts, and although I would have given up 100 times if I had her life, she never quits.

Happy Birthday, LL. I'm so lucky that you're my sister. I love you!!!

That Which Must Be Done

Due to some yucky circumstances, my roommate decided that she needed to move out. This was certainly not an easy choice. In fact, it would have probably been much easier and more fun to stay. However, she was able to be an adult and make a healthy choice for her future. So many people I know aren't able to do that! We seem to make choices based on what works for now, or what is easy or nice for the time being.

I will miss her guts like crazy (already do), but I'm so proud of her for making good decisions for herself.

Someday, I'll be a grown up too.

Friends

I have decided that one great test of a great friend is how well a conversation goes with the friend when it has been a while since you've seen them.

Cases in point: last weekend, on my way to Vegas, I stopped in St George to see an old friend. We email some, but hardly ever see each other. But every time I see her, it never fails--it is like no time has passed at all. It's just like two wonderful friends who see each other all the time. It's fantastic.

Then, last night, I got a phone call from my other best friend who has been on a mission. She and I are both HORRIBLE letter writers (well, in truth, we both WRITE letters fine, but don't mail them...) so we hardly wrote during her mission.

However, when she called last night, you wouldn't have guessed that 18 months had gone by. It was just like old times.

It's so wonderful to have friends who can pick right back up even when you've been a lame hoser and haven't talked to them!!!

French it up!!

At the fancy wedding I attended this weekend, I decided I needed to learn how to speak French. French seems to be an important skill if you want to know what you're eating.

One thing that we ate was "free-range cornish game hens." The next line on the menu that described what we'd be eating said "Grand Mere" (in quotations) and then the next few lines described the stuffing that was in them.

I don't know what Grand Mere is. I would guess it's French. I asked my mom about it, without any context, and she said she thought that Grand Mere was grandmother. (Apparently, Grand Pere would be grandfather...)

So, is this a chicken like my grandmother makes? (It wasn't a chicken like MY grandmother makes, but is that what they were hinting at?) Or, perhaps, not only is this a free-range bird, but it has free-ranged for many, many years and is a grandmother chicken now, and is only killed and cooked for my pleasure after it has lived a happy life.

My sister-in-law speaks French. I should probably ask.

Wedding Tips

I thought I'd share a few wedding tips I learned this weekend:

If you are the best man, you should not call the day before to say you're not coming. This is simply inappropriate behavior, and quite stressful for the bride/groom.

If you are at a very fancy wedding, say, at a fancy Las Vegas hotel (like the Wynn), try to act your fanciest. That way, more people will think you belong. Things that can make you look very un-fancy would be being very drunk, dancing like it's a nightclub, and shouting across a room.

If you choose to wear strange underwear to the wedding so as to not have "lines," adjust that while you're not in full view of others.

Pick your pastor/rabbi/preacher carefully. Otherwise, he may say that he has good news: he saved a bunch of money on his car insurance.

Driving Tips

I wanted to take this opportunity to share some driving tips, which apparently the world desperately needs.

The sign with the big numbers on it? That's the speed limit. It's illegal to exceed it. You are free, of course, to make your own decisions with regards to this matter, but please stop flipping me off, tailgaiting, and generally being rude to me when I follow it.

When there is a line of orange cones down the middle of the road, I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to weave between them to get on the other side and pass people. Just a thought.

The blinkers for signaling to change lanes in your car are not just for your own benefit. If you'll use them, the rest of us can not be completely shocked when you zip out in front of us.

Fines are double for speeding in work zones. The speed limit, then, is clearly even more important at those times. Please stay off my back bumper while we drive through those zones. I choose intentionally to not have any bumper stickers, and would appreciate it if you wouldn't make yourself one.

Dear World

Dear Family, Friends, and Religious Leaders:

Today I arrived home smelling like a very special mixture of alcohol, cigarette smoke, and marijuana. It may seem like I had a wild weekend of partying. This would be a correct assumption.

However, you can rest assured that I was the one not partying. The cigarettes were smoked by approximately 145,572 people who I passed on streets and in buildings, the alcohol was dumped on me, presumably accidentally, at a party we crashed (which turned out to be a party for optometrists, who really know how to boogie) and the pot was smoked by the girl with whom I shared a room.

No worries though--three showers later, I smell much better. Now for the laundry.

Sincerely (and truthfully, I promise!),

Liz

Welcome?

I have two door mats at my apartment. One is to the left of the door, and the other is to the right of the door. Neither is actually in front of the door. In fact, when I walk through the door, I never step on a mat, completely defeating the purpose of having a welcome mat.

Perhaps I should mention this to the roommates...neither mat is mine, but we seem to not be operating at 100% efficiency...more like, maybe 2%. (One of the mats is cute, so...it is accomplishing SOMETHING...)