I ended up having a tomato on my burger, even though I don't usually. I forgot to have them leave it off, and then I just ate it anyway. The restaurant has good tomatoes, so it wasn't a big deal.
Then, today at work, everyone was talking about how tomatoes have been pulled from stores because of a salmonella outbreak. The one time I eat a tomato, this is what happens...
They all assured me that, if I were going to get salmonella from my tomato, I'd have it already, but really, how could they know that? We work for a bank. We're not biologists. Or doctors. Or gardeners.
I'm thinking about calling in sick tomorrow for the salmonella. I'm also going to start referring to it as "The Salmonella" and blaming all of my future problems on it.
Example:
Teacher: "I told you that assignment was due today."
Me: "Oh, I must not have heard you. I have the salmonella."
Or:
Random Person: "Hey, don't throw garbage at me!"
Me: "Sorry--I can't help it. I have the salmonella."
4 comments:
well, i'm an epidemiologist so food-bourne outbreaks are my bread & butter. i can tell you salmonella has a 12-72 hour incubation period. but you should still use it as an excuse!
Hee hee. You're hilarious. The same thing happened to me last week. I went to lunch with a friend and had a wrap with tomatoes in it. Then I went home and heard about the salmonella-tomato fiasco and was freaking out. I was going to say I read in the news that it can show up 12-72 hours later, but the epidemiologist dude beat me to it. Good luck dodging the salmonella! ;-)
Lovely. This is why I don't eat tomatoes.
Kind of rooting for it so that you can have a day off. :-)
I say use the excuse, a day off can be relaxing - well - sometimes
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