I have recently had a few conversations with some people that I completely don't understand. We'll be in a group, chatting, and then later, I'll realize that the things that they said to me were super underhanded and mean. I wonder if they realize that they were being rude or not. Regardless, I always feel like I got punched in the stomach after being with these people. When I'm rude about something, I'm just rude. I don't make any attempts to be sly about it--I can be mean if I want to. (Of course, I shouldn't want to, but that's another thing to work on...as always...)
So is this an art that people learn? Conversational meanness? The ability to chip away at my self-confidence with smiled snippets? How does that happen? Do I let it happen? Is there a way for me to defend myself? I always feel like I'm very functional in the conversation, making good replys and such, but I just never realize that it's happening until after the fact.
And then I get angry! I spent a whole night the other night just fuming that someone had said something so rude to me and I had done nothing! I just didn't realize it at the time. I was angry with them, and angry with myself for letting it happen.
So what's the best course of action here? Should I figure out how to recognize it at the time? If I did that though, I wouldn't be able to be as sneaky as they are at saying anything rude back...but I hate that they walk all over me. Or do they even know they're doing that? Maybe it doesn't occur to them that they are so insensitive and rude! Perhaps I should tell them...that might not be a super great idea though.
The drama of my life...clearly, all SO important. :)
5 comments:
It reminds me of "You Got Mail," when Meg Ryan can always think of a great comeback after she leaves Tom Hanks.
It's totally irritating, but I'm never sure what to say to those kind of people either.
It is like that! Except less fun, and no happy ending. :)
Yeah, if only I could say the thing I wanted to say when I wanted to say it! Of course, I'm sure that it would not be as great as I think it would be, just like in the movie.
I learn so much about life from TV and movies. That's probably a bad sign.
I have no idea what to do in this situation. Sorry. I tend to ignore and let it go. But that is a new thing I've developed in the last few years. Before that I'd just be bothered and angry. :-)
Are you ever going to answer your 5 questions?
I am going to answer my questions!! I just haven't had a chance to do it...I always forget. I should do it tonight.
Sorry I didn't call last night. The evening got kind of crazy and the boys were still running around and screaming at 9 (when I was supposed to call) and by the time I got them all in bed I was wasted and I forgot and went to bed. Oops. Looking forward to talking to you...call me! I think we're going to the library when Andres gets up from his nap, but other than that we have no plans.
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